True love isn’t found in losing yourself—it’s in choosing to honour yourself and the other with intention and respect
Conditional Love vs. Unconditional Love
Another perspective on love—beyond what many of us in Western thought have grown up believing.
Love, as often understood in Western thought, is primarily perceived as an emotion—something we feel in response to another person or situation. While emotions can spark connection, they are inherently fleeting, shaped by circumstances, mood, and time. What happens, then, when we anchor love in something deeper, something more enduring?
Love is not about finding someone to complete you but choosing someone who inspires you to be whole
True, transformative love is not merely a passive feeling; it’s an intentional act of engagement. It’s a choice we make to honor, respect, and nurture a connection with someone, grounded in shared values and mutual growth. While emotions can ignite connection, intentional love sustains it by grounding relationships in conscious choice rather than fleeting feelings.
A Love That Aligns with Your Inner Truth
When love becomes intentional, it shifts from being reactive to proactive. Instead of being swept away by emotions, intentional love invites us to:
• Honour Boundaries: Acknowledging and respecting our own needs and those of others.
• Foster Growth: Supporting each other’s individual journeys without stifling autonomy.
• Deepen Trust: Building a foundation of reliability and authenticity through shared commitments.
This form of love doesn’t demand perfection, nor does it call for self-sacrifice. Instead, it celebrates each person’s unique essence while creating a space for their best selves to flourish.
The Role of Will in Love
Intentional love requires effort and the engagement of our will. It asks us to step beyond fleeting feelings and actively participate in the relationship. This effort imbues the connection with depth and meaning, transforming it into something both tangible and sacred.
Rather than relying on unconditional acceptance that disregards behaviour or boundaries, this form of love sets conditions that align with both individuals’ values. For instance:
• Reciprocity becomes a cornerstone, ensuring that both give and receive in balance.
• Responsibility takes centre stage, emphasising accountability for one’s actions within the relationship.
When we choose to act from our will, we affirm that love is a conscious commitment, not a passive state of being.
Cultivating Respectful and Intentional Connections
Transforming love into an intentional connection doesn’t mean it loses its warmth or spontaneity; rather, it enriches the relationship by grounding it in honesty and mutual respect. This approach to love also helps us:
• Navigate Challenges with Grace: By prioritising clear communication and shared goals.
• Maintain Autonomy and Interdependence: Loving deeply while preserving individuality.
• Align with Our Authentic Selves: Building relationships that reflect who we truly are, not who we think we need to be for others.
When we embrace this perspective, love evolves from an idealised, emotion-driven concept into a practice of honouring one another’s humanity. This is the path of a connection that is both fulfilling and empowering—a love rooted in will, respect, and intentionality.
Consider this: How would your relationships shift if love became less about emotions and more about a conscious act of connection? What conditions would you want to bring into your relationships to make them more honest, respectful, and aligned with your truth?
By choosing to cultivate intentional love, we not only transform our relationships but also ourselves, creating bonds that honour the best in each of us.