True healing begins where superficial positivity ends—when we dare to explore the vast, uncharted depths of our inner world
Imagine opening up about a painful experience, only to be told to ‘just think positive.’ Instead of feeling supported, you’re left questioning your emotions.
This is the subtle harm of spiritual gaslighting.
Healing Beyond the ‘Good Vibes Only’ Trap: The Dangers of Spiritual Gaslighting
True healing begins where superficial positivity ends—when we dare to explore the vast, uncharted depths of our inner world.
In recent years, spirituality has gained widespread popularity, offering tools and insights that support personal growth. However, like any movement, it has its pitfalls. One of the most pervasive issues is spiritual gaslighting—a phenomenon where spiritual concepts are used to invalidate, minimise, or dismiss genuine emotional experiences. Cloaked in phrases like “just think positive,” “it’s your karma,” or “everything happens for a reason,” this form of gaslighting can leave people feeling unseen, unheard, and disconnected from their authentic healing journey.
While positivity and spiritual insights can be helpful, misapplying them can cause more harm than good. Let’s explore what spiritual gaslighting is, why it’s harmful, and how we can create space for true healing.
What is Spiritual Gaslighting?
Spiritual gaslighting occurs when spiritual phrases or ideas are used to undermine someone’s emotional or lived experience. It often shows up in conversations where well-meaning individuals offer oversimplified advice instead of holding space for someone’s feelings. Learn more about navigating emotional challenges on my Emotional Mastery page.
If you’ve experienced this, take a moment to validate your emotions. Remind yourself that all feelings are valid and part of being human.
Common Phrases That Gaslight:
-
“Just think positive.” Implies that negative emotions are invalid or that you’re at fault for not feeling happy.
-
“It’s your karma.” Shifts blame onto the individual instead of addressing systemic or situational factors.
-
“Everything happens for a reason.” Dismisses profound grief or trauma in the guise of comfort.
At its core, spiritual gaslighting prioritizes avoidance over authenticity. It bypasses the messy, uncomfortable work of processing emotions and replaces it with a superficial veneer of “good vibes only.”
Why is Spiritual Gaslighting Harmful?
True healing requires authenticity—acknowledging where we are, what we feel, and what we need. Spiritual gaslighting disrupts this process by encouraging emotional suppression or denial. Here’s why it’s harmful:
-
Invalidates Real Emotions: Phrases like “just be positive” pressure individuals to suppress sadness or anger, leading to emotional repression and potential mental health issues.
-
Blocks Authentic Healing: Avoiding emotions keeps unresolved pain buried, preventing meaningful progress.
Explore Trauma Recovery & Empowerment to understand deeper healing practices.
-
Creates Shame: Attributing struggles to “karma” or personal failings fosters feelings of inadequacy.
-
Disconnects from Growth: Prioritising spiritual ideals over human experiences alienates us from valuable lessons inherent in facing challenges.
The Role of Toxic Positivity
Toxic positivity relentlessly promotes positive thinking, often at the expense of acknowledging pain or struggle. While positivity has its place, denying the validity of difficult emotions is like putting a bandage on a wound without cleaning it first.
Read more about finding balance in personal growth on the Personal Growth & Transformation page.
Examples of Toxic Positivity:
-
Dismissing Grief: “Look on the bright side.”
-
Ignoring Anger: “Just be grateful.”
-
Minimising Struggles: “At least you have XYZ.”
How to Spot Spiritual Gaslighting
It can be subtle, but here are signs you may be experiencing it:
-
You feel unheard. Your emotions are brushed aside or minimised.
-
You feel pressured to “move on.” Difficult feelings are skipped over rather than processed.
-
You feel judged for struggling. Your pain is framed as a personal failing.
-
You feel disconnected from your truth. Spiritual ideals overshadow your authentic experience.
The Path to Authentic Healing
True healing is not about avoiding pain; it’s about walking through it with courage, self-compassion, and support. Here’s how to navigate the path beyond spiritual gaslighting:
1. Embrace Emotional Honesty
Allow yourself to feel the full range of your emotions without judgment. Sadness, anger, fear, and joy are all part of the human experience. They don’t make you less spiritual; they make you human.
2. Seek Safe Spaces
Surround yourself with people who can hold space for your emotions without rushing to fix or dismiss them. Whether it’s a trusted friend, therapist, or community, find those who support your journey authentically.
Book a Free Clarity Call to explore personalised guidance.
3. Practice Discernment
Not all spiritual advice is helpful or relevant. Before accepting someone’s perspective, ask yourself: “Does this resonate with my truth? Does it honour my experience?”
4. Reframe Positivity
Positivity doesn’t mean ignoring pain; it means cultivating hope and resilience while still acknowledging challenges. It’s about finding light without denying the darkness.
5. Reconnect with Your Inner Wisdom
Your emotions are not your enemy; they’re a guide. Tune into what your feelings are telling you about your needs, boundaries, and values.
Your emotions are valid. It’s natural to feel pain, anger, or confusion in challenging moments.
Acknowledging these feelings doesn’t make you weak; it makes you human. By honouring your experience, you take the first step toward authentic healing.
Tools for Authentic Spiritual Growth
If you’ve experienced spiritual gaslighting, these practices can help you reconnect with your authentic self:
-
Body Awareness: Tune into the sensations in your body to notice and release stored tension or trauma. Practices like somatic movement or breath work can deepen this connection.
-
Shadow Work: Shadow work involves exploring the hidden or repressed parts of yourself that influence your emotions and behaviours. For example, if anger often surfaces in your relationships, shadow work might uncover a childhood experience where your needs were ignored. By bringing this to light, you can transform the anger into understanding and set healthier boundaries
-
Nature Connection: Spend time in nature to ground yourself and connect with the rhythms of life. Walks in the forest or time by water can restore balance.
-
Energy Alignment Practices: Work with a skilled practitioner to harmonise your energy system and restore balance, allowing for greater clarity and emotional well-being.
True spirituality embraces the full spectrum of human experience. Healing is a courageous act of honesty, vulnerability, and self-acceptance. By stepping away from spiritual gaslighting, we create space for profound transformation.
Spiritual gaslighting can obscure the path to true healing, but by embracing authenticity, emotional honesty, and self-compassion, we reclaim our power. Remember, your healing journey is unique—and it begins with honouring your truth.
Are you ready to explore healing that honours your full self?