The Narcissist Unmasked and Your Reward.

A Relationship with a Narcissist: From Covert to Psychopathic

Narcissists come in many forms, but they have one thing in common: they are incapable of true love. Some manipulate subtly and unobtrusively, while others are dangerous and destructive. But the most dangerous of them all? The psychopathic narcissist.

The different narcissistic types:

Overt Narcissist

• Dominant, loud, hungry for attention and admiration
• Reacts aggressively to criticism (narcissistic rage)
• Manipulates openly with gaslighting and guilt trips

Covert Narcissist

• Pretends to be modest and empathetic, but is full of jealousy and anger
• Plays the victim to make you dependent
• Manipulates in subtle, devious ways

Psychopathic Narcissist

• No empathy, unscrupulous and extremely manipulative
• Constantly lies and believes his/her own lies
• Physically, mentally, sexually and emotionally abuses
• Dangerous to life

Somatic Narcissist (addicted to appearance and sex)

• Uses appearance and sexual attractiveness as a form of control
• Often has multiple partners at the same time

Cerebral narcissist (feels superior due to intelligence)

• Humiliates others with knowledge and arrogance

Most narcissists combine several of these characteristics.

You did not enter into this relationship consciously from your present self

This is a crucial insight. It was not your conscious, mature self that chose this relationship. It was an old, wounded part of you that craved love and affirmation so much that it could not see reality.

This in no way diminishes the fact that abuse can NEVER be justified. But it explains why you ended up in this destructive dynamic:

• An inner void that you thought you had to fill from outside yourself.
• An old wound that you had not recognised as something that had been inside you for a long time.
• An unconscious pattern that put you in danger once again.

And here comes the hard truth:

• No one can save you.
• Not a narcissist.
• Not a new love.
• Not a guru.

Only YOU can save yourself.

And as soon as you really see that, everything changes.

Faked Emotions: The Greatest Mental Trick

Narcissists do not feel deep emotions such as empathy, genuine love or regret. But they know how to mirror, fake and strategically use emotions to maintain control over you.

• Tears without depth – They may cry when they are afraid of losing you, but it is not real regret, it is a tactic to keep you close.
• ‘Vulnerability’ as a trap – They share stories about their past to trigger your empathy, so that you feel even more responsible for their ‘pain’.
• Love and passion are exaggerated – At the beginning of the relationship, they seem like your perfect match. They shower you with love, making you feel special and later making you work even harder for their approval.
• ‘I hate lies’ - while they lie through their teeth. They make you believe that they value honesty and loyalty, while they themselves are constantly concealing or distorting things.

If you are co-dependent, this is a huge pitfall. You think their emotional expressions are sincere, and so you keep hoping for change. But this is not real vulnerability—it is a strategy.

Why Do Narcissists Cheat So Often?

They can appear charming, understanding and loving.

But this is not a genuine connection—this is their manipulation from day one. Everything is carefully constructed to catch you in their web, to use against you later.

A narcissist lives off multiple sources at the same time and plays partners off against each other. You thought you were special, but the truth is that they always have someone else lined up.

The hard truth that you would rather not hear:

• You are never the only one with a narcissist.

It is a painful realisation, but you were not the first and certainly not the last. A narcissist lives off several ‘sources’ at the same time and plays his partners off against each other. Their relationships often overlap and they stay in touch with exes while they have already ‘set up’ someone else.

• They make you believe they are monogamous.

They tell you how much they despise cheating. How honest and loyal they are. How they would never lie. They make you think that you are the one who is truly special, that you are the one for whom they would do anything.

But meanwhile?

They are sleeping with their ex while being with you the next day. They are already preparing a new partner even before they end the relationship with you. You thought you were in a deep, exclusive love. But for them it was a game of control and manipulation.

• They do not want to be ‘exposed’.

Narcissists live by lies and deceit. They are terrified that their exes will exchange stories and the pieces of the puzzle will fall into place. That is why they will do anything to keep their ex-partners apart.

• Slandering and gaslighting

They tell their new partner how ‘crazy’ and ‘dangerous’ their ex is. This ensures that the new partner does not seek contact and remains under the illusion that you are special. Meanwhile, exes are told the same story about the new partner.

A narcissist makes you addicted like cocaine. The high of the love bombing, followed by the crash of abuse, keeps you trapped.

Why Are Most Narcissists Men?

• Men are less likely to develop empathy as a survival mechanism.
• When they experience trauma, they are more likely to learn to use control and power rather than seek connection.
• Many narcissistic men have had an emotionally unavailable or dominant father.

And the female narcissist?

Although narcissism is more common in men, the female narcissist is more difficult to recognise:

• She uses empathy as a weapon – She appears caring, but uses this to gain power over you.
• She plays the victim – She turns everything around and makes herself the ‘victim’.
• She works with subtle manipulation – Gaslighting, guilt and playing others off each other.

Their control is less visible, but just as harmful.

The Way Out of Chaos

A psychopathic narcissist lives by deception. Their entire existence is built on lies. They know no love—not for themselves, not for others. They abuse you physically, emotionally, sexually and mentally.

Every minute with a psychopathic narcissist is abuse. Every conversation with a narcissist is manipulation of some kind.

But you? You can live without them. In fact, you have to live without them to save yourself.

A narcissist, and certainly a psychopathic narcissist, can drive you mad. They have gotten women to the point that they have given up on themselves. Some have lost their children, others themselves, and still others their lives.

It is not in what they have done to you, but in what you do to yourself by holding on to it.

• You think they filled a void in you.
• You get stuck in trying to understand their behaviour.
• You look for answers outside yourself, while the key lies within you.

But this is also where your liberation lies.

It stops as soon as you radically dare to accept it. It stops when you start talking about yourself instead of them. It stops when you see the illusion for what it really is.

Because the truth? It was never real. But you are.

If my words touch you, it is because deep down you recognise the truth as soon as you hear it.

When you realise that it wasn't the narcissist who did this to you, but that it was a trigger for how you have unconsciously treated yourself - with false beliefs, self-doubt and the constant return to this mindfuck - then it can stop.

Reading about it helps.

Talking about it helps.

But the most powerful thing is to have someone by your side who has been through it, has healed from it and has come out the other side.

Healing is closer than you think.

You are special. You are powerful.

And I am sure that somewhere inside you is the courage to face this.

I know how painful it is, how deeply it cuts to face the truth. But I also know how liberating it is when you finally see everything clearly. I have been through this myself. My 2 ex partners were narcissists. I know the manipulation, the lies and the addiction it creates. But I also know the way out. And I know that if you are reading this and feeling this, that way is there for you too.